Saturday

As with any story, I should start at the beginning.

Saturday my left knee felt the blade of a razor for the second time this year. The first time was in January and I was on a gurney. This time I was in the shower with a Gillette Venus 3. With the information you now know, I will make this point; self checkout registers are great, not just for lines.

I now am waiting for the hair on my arms and legs to grow back. I read in a blog, if you hadn't swam with your arms and legs shaved you should do it at least once. Also, bikers are known to shave their legs. While faster racers might argue wind resistance, the real concern is in the event of a crash.

So, I have silky smooth arms and legs.

Tough Just Getting To The Line

It is the weekend of the race. I can't wait to race, but this is the most I have thought about a race before and it becomes mostly negative the longer it continues. This race's association with the Ironman just means more to me, because it is an official 70.3. I also know that I need to cross this finish line and then want to line up at the starting line and do it again, but not this Sunday.

I haven't trained near what I need to; though that is what I feel the least concerned about. Both my runs this week have felt alarming. Every muscle and ligament feels like it is sending a slight signal, vying for my attention, to stay inspective of it. This is a particularly bad feeling having had surgery within the year. I have been doing a lot of stretching to try and help this. A number of people in my office are sick. I can't explain how much I have just wanted to be in a bubble unharmed for the week. I was even hesitant to play certain sports and risk getting hurt. I can't stand the idea of 'playing not to get injured' and being reluctant on a play.

With triathlons, there is a lot of do before a race, a lot to set up with your bike and transition area. It is very different than a marathon, just lacing up some sneakers the morning of and showing up at the starting line. I think I will feel more prepared when I am in Austin and have my stuff set up. Or, I will feel more scared, lye awake Saturday night tucked tight in a ball, cry myself to sleep and stand at the starting line nervous and wet myself.

It would make sense why they call them 'wetsuits.' Though, it would also make sense that they call them wetsuits because you use wear them in water.

The Deal

Here is the deal. I think a lot of people don't know the different distances and names of races in the world of triathlons. Similarly, a great track runner could tell someone they are going to compete in the steeplechase and one might think, "Golly, this equestrian I am talking to must be an accomplished rider."

Someone asked me if I was doing a "mini-triathlon" this weekend. Mini? Kind of.

Names of races don't really correlate with distances to those that really don't compete. When I was raising money last year for Team In Training and competing in my first triathlon, an Olympic distance, people would say I was doing an Ironman. It is probably the first thing that comes to mind with the word triathlon, but the difference is a great distance.

On Sunday, I will compete in a half-Ironman, referred to as a long course or 70.3. It is a 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, and 13.1 mile run. Total miles = 70.3. There are cut off time limits within each event and you have to finish the entire race within 8 hours.

Ready... Set... Wait? How far is this again?

Raw Talent

I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.

A Deep Thought by Jack Handey

Gear

Today, I bought the shoes I am going to run the Houston Marathon in.

Really the only two things I, and you, need to know about these racers is that I purchased them for $30 and on the bottom, in print you have to search to find, inscribed is "LICKETY SPLIT!"

But What Am I Going To Wear?

With less than 9 days until the race, I realize, I need a uniform. I have my TEAM tri uni, but in the Ironmans I am not racing with TNT.

I can swim, bike, and run all I want, but it means nothing if you don't look good doing it.

I need a headband that lets people know as I pass them to perhaps be aware of a karate chop, and I need spandex for speed and agility, and I need neon.

Faded denim never looked so good crossing the finish line.

I need to do all Ironman races in vintage Agassi wear. eBay Agassi Challenge Court searchers beware, there is a new sniper online.

Pre Lives

I recently bought an old school track jacket, written on the back is "Pre Lives."

Steve Prefontaine was a crazy runner with a great 'stache who said, "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the Gift." Here is the only thing you really need to know about Pre from Wikipedia:

Prefontaine was an aggressive runner, insisting on going out hard and not relinquishing leads, a tactic that his fans and fellow competitors admired. He was quoted as saying, "No one will ever win a 5,000 meter by running an easy two miles. Not against me." He would later state, "I am going to work so that it's a pure guts race. In the end, if it is, I'm the only one that can win it."

It is sad when greats die young, though as the jacket says, "Pre Lives."

Breakfast of Champions

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. With a half-Ironman race a little over two weeks away, and a distance that is farther than any other I have completed to date, this feels like what I should be eating.

It is a familiar feeling, I feel unprepared. Nails for breakfast seems like the only thing that might toughen me up in the little time I have before I stand in the water with hundreds others. Though it is fun for me, because I haven't done this distance before, and ultimately when I am done honing the weapon, this distance will seem short of a warm up.

Still, I feel unprepared because I haven't trained in the distances I should have, with the disciplines together as they will be on race day, because I could get pulled off the course for not making a time cut, and I might be a little concerned one of these distances is too much.

I've heard 50% of training is getting on the starting line healthy. I'm just unsure which 50% this breakfast is going to help.

Run Humans Run

One of the coolest races I have ever participated in was the one in which I saw only one other runner on the course. The course, planet earth.

The Nike+ Human Race 10K was billed as the day the world stopped to run. The race had 25 official races around the world. And, you could participate anywhere in the world with Nike+. Of course I had all the gear, my Nike+ shoes, SportBand (the most ingenious invention, but that doesn't work - reviews don't lie), and official race jersey. (Again, ingenious. Each shirt is personalized with an individualized bib number.)

I ran the race early in the morning in the hills of the Rocky Mountains. I didn't expect to see anyone but was having a good time in my official race jersey knowing, the world out there, others were running too. Then, about 30 minutes in a girl passed me in the opposite direction listening to an iPod in her official race jersey. We both smiled and I'm pretty sure I started running faster. I think I beat her.

Proof positive that the SportBand doesn't work: I don't remember that gravitation pull my pace line is experiencing in my uploaded run. It also recorded my time at 56'02" HA, what a faulty piece of equipment, wait, what?, that was my actual time, probably still is broken though.

 

The worst part about having a microchip record your race distance? Oh I guess coming up .01K short of the actual imaginary Nike+ Human Race 10K finish line.

Longing for Season 5?

One thing I find interesting is thinking about everyone you know and then imagining everyone on a island. Who would love the setting, survive and flourish, who would hate the situation, act irrational, and self destruct. The most intriguing piece about this scenario is that some would do well based on their mental capacities, others drawn from experiences, and some just on physical strength. I imagine this and think about the Ironman, because an Ironman race would claim anyone who didn't excel in all three.

Distance - My Benzoylmethyl Ecgonin

I think, for me, I love to race not for the competition, but for my body. We have all been given a very sharp, intelligent instrument and it is interesting to see others and how they choose to use it. I think that is part of the fun of watching the Olympics, because you get to witness a human machine trained to do a specific task better than anyone else in the world. A gold medal means out of 6.692 billion people, you are the best of all.

One thing I find curious about myself, and am finding out now, is I don't think racing a previous distance is exciting. I am training for my 3rd marathon, I am a bit bored, though not because I find the challenge easy. I will run the 26.2 miles and hopefully, as is the goal with every race I enter, I will finish. I haven't finished either marathon in less than 4 hours. It is a goal this time around, but really, I just find myself wondering how much farther I could go, if any. Time and PRs seem like footnotes.

The prospect that only distance is consequential to me is a bit frightening. I pretty much want to do as many races as I can and I currently only want to know the title of "Ironman," though what if I do finish? The idea that I would want to do more is sickening, even to me. I can't imagine it now, and in less than 30 days I will get a good taste of half.

A Race On The Moon

I tried to search for a race on the moon, but no one is trying to organize one yet. I guess that would make sense. Do you think in our lifetime there will be a race on the moon? Certainly the rules would have to be tailored, no jet packs, no pushing into outer space, and you have to have your Nike Gravity Boots activated. Or maybe ONLY jet packs.

Anyway, first we have to figure out who owns the moon.

Crash

Due to a server crash the Ironman Lake Placid website had last week, Community Fund participants data was lost and not able to be retrieved. So, I had to register again. Bad omen? No, I just filled in my name, address and insurance information again.

One thing I noticed later, and apparently others noticed earlier, is that on the participant list it even lists your occupation. You don't have to fill out this field, but I think some people made the most out of their second chance at this description. Here are some of the occupations of the people signed up for the event:

"Nurse/Fitness Instructor"

"Evil Scientist"

"Wikipedia Fact Checker"

"Businessman"

"Assistance to the Regional Manager"

"Samurai"

"Good Deed Doer"

"Triathlete (And Recreational Dentist)"

"Fortune Teller" (Probably the best occupation to have going into a race like this)

"Shape Shifter"

"Duke of Awesomeness"

"Professional Thumb Wrestler"

"Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor"

"Bathroom Attendant"

"Cat Whisperer"

"Pirate"

"Intergalactic Law Enforcement"

"Columbian Drug Lord"

"Gremlin Keeper"

"Professional Unicycle Mechanic"

"Goat Herder"

Sounds like a bit of a mixed bag. Let's race clowns.

Love Running More

A while back, I hated running. I could run while I did something else, like playing basketball or tennis, there was no joy in running without chasing a ball of some kind to redirect and lure my athletic talent elsewhere. But somewhere along the way, I stopped chasing a ball and no longer looked for a court, or any kind of special playing surface, everything became in play, everything became an obstacle to leap, bound and go past, and I just need shoes to play. It is different now. Now, I love running. We have a special relationship.

Editor's Note: Last Saturday, apparently I forgot my milk bottle.

Walking Until You Require A Walker

I really like testing my body's endurance during a performance and my brain's stupidity to comply. So, on Saturday, I put myself in motion for a continuous 10 hours.


This photo couldn't be more appropriate. I found this car around 8:15 a.m. as I began to walk. Who said God doesn't have a sense of humor?

The easiest way to prepare for a big walk is to run 8 miles, then walk for hours. Here is an outline of my pretty nice little Saturday:

SCHEDULE

6:00 a.m. - Woke up
6:15 a.m. - Left the house with my vest, wallet, keys, phone, hat, & trusty Gatorade bottle full of Instant Breakfast
6:15 - 6:30 a.m. - Walked and drank my breakfast
6:30 - 7:15 a.m. - Ran 5 miles to TEAM practice
7:15 - 7:45 a.m. - Ran 3 miles
7:45 - 8:00 a.m. - Drank water and stretched
8:00 a.m. - 4:15 p.m. - Walked (and questioned what I was doing with my life)

I tried to think about each hour differently and focus on what I would be walking past during that hour. One thing I like to do on a run, or in this case a walk, is look at my body like I am looking at a car dashboard - how's the old speedometer, fuel gauge, am I overheated, or see if the check engine light is on. I also like to monitor each part. Here is what started to break:

BREAKDOWN

Really early, like in the 1st hour (8:00-9:00 a.m.) I made up my mind I wasn't doing a round trip, way to taxing to decide to come back mentally. It was going to be far easier to just runaway (walkaway). My phone quickly became my most important possession.

My right calf became hard around the 4th hour (12:00 - 1:00 p.m.). It never cramped up fully, it just felt really tight and balled up, like I had a baseball for a muscle.

My right hip started to hate the continuous motion around the 5th hour (1:00 - 2:00 p.m.). Around this time I also started to feel pain on my feet. I wasn't sure if I had blisters or not, but it didn't feel good. It rooted from the fact that I was walking along highways, right beside the access roads, and often there was no sidewalk and I was mowing my way through knee high grass and weeds. The part of my feet that hurt were the side walls, my blisters were not on the bottom of my feet, it was a first and a wired hurt, not ideal.

None of this stuff got better or stopped hurting as a reward for walking farther.

MISTAKES

I didn't treat this like I should have, like a real endurance event. I should have made a lot more "race day preparations." I will spare details, but Body Glide (just check the product rating) should have been heavily applied.

I should have brought and used sunscreen. (No brainer? My head might be a no brainer.)

I should have mapped out a plan. I was trying to walk to the Premium Outlets and just had a general direction I was walking. I should have had a mapped out plan so I could avoid highways and utilize roads and sidewalks. I found that I walked about .5 - 1 mile per hour farther just by walking on a solid surface.

I should have brought an extra pair of socks and shorts. After an 8 mile run, I sweat, and I don't mean that in a "glistening" way. I mean, jump in a pool and quickly spring out kind of wet. It amplified a couple of the breakdowns.

MAP

The dots don't mean anything I just had to plot my course.

AFTERMATH & CONCLUSION

After I called in my AIRVAC, I was picked up at point "B" (290 and 1960). I was so tired, I only wanted a nap, a nap right after a shower, my legs were covered in lots of dirt and brush. It didn't help that I was so burned on my neck, heat felt like it was radiating from me. After the shower I had the chills pretty good, I haven't really had that after a race. I would be burning up and sweating, but felt like I was freezing under a blanket, that hurt the nap a little.

I wish I had of made it to my destination, but (in this case) there is always next time. If you have an idea of something crazy I should do, let me know and I will consider putting myself through it. One day I plan on being able to tell my body, "Quiet you, you've been through worse."